I have to fit into River's football jersey by August 17th.

It's me again! Two years is way too long to go without blogging. I have had ups and downs with my weight loss struggle but I have stayed more consistent in the last 2 months or so. I'll keep it real with ya, though, this last week I haven't been so consistent which is why I decided to blog again. Even if nobody reads this, the process of writing has always been therapeutic for me and it helps me stay accountable.

Austin High School football has this tradition where all of the seniors take a picture with their moms in their football jerseys for the program. The boys wear their practice jerseys and mom wears their game jersey.We're talking Texas High School Football here, do you know how many people go to watch the Friday Night Lights and buy the programs? It's like a concert, standing room only. Especially at the home games which is the only time the programs are bought. I've known about this for 2 years because River has been on varsity since his Sophomore year. I saw the skinny little Tarrytown moms looking good in their athletic bodies proudly wearing their son's jerseys and knew I'd have to do that one day. Most of you who would be reading this know that my son is thin. Not skinny thin, broad shoulder and muscular with a 32 inch waist thin. Thank goodness for the muscles and the shoulders because maybe my boobs may fit in where his pecs would but the waist? No friggin' way! I would have to pull a Gandhi to fit in his clothes.  I have this image in my head of actually getting the jersey on and then either living in the jersey forever, dislocating my shoulder in attempt to get it off  or asking one of the other moms if they have any scissors to cut the sucker off. I knew I needed to get on the ball soon if I want to not be completely embarrassed on August 17th. so, once the holidays were behind me and I finally got out of my holiday depression mode I began running, this was at the end of February.

- FULL DISCLOSURE I say run but there are only moments when I actually run. I actually do the walk/jog thing but jog doesn't seem to be in the Austin fitness culture vocabulary. You either walk or you run, there is no in between. Everybody calls it "running". I ran into a friend as I was approaching the trail on the lake and after we chatted and I was walking away putting my ear buds in he said, "enjoy your run!" It's just assumed. I guess it makes one feel more like a bad ass, I know I do. So, when I say run I actually mean walk/jog but allow me this stretch of vocabulary so that I may continue my delusion.  -

It is very frustrating to run for an hour, unable to even walk by the end of it 5 days a week and only lose 1 pound. But, now in retrospect, I would give anything to get back to losing 1 pound a week. It's kind of like when I weighed 135 in mid-twenties after my 4th child was born and thought my life was over. There goes the bod! What I would give. So, to speed up the pace I added Pilates to my routine again and began taking GLA oil. Finally, the pounds began coming off much quicker. I was losing 3 lbs a week. I'd have to stop in mid-run to pull my shorts up because they were falling down. I watered something at work outside and the hose was muddy. I couldn't use my hands as I walked into the building to wash up and luckily a trusted co-worker was walking behind me so she could pull up my pants as they were falling over my butt. I was so excited, all the hard work was finally paying off. I reached my first short-term goal in less than a month and thought, "This is not going to take any time at all". The thought was barely out of my brain when I felt that tickling at the back of my throat when I swallowed which grew to excruciating pain when I swallowed. I even ran while sick just to keep the momentum going but, alas, the microscopic bastard got the best of me and I was down for the count.

The sick lasted for a week and I gained 4 pounds! WHAT?!? How does that happen? This was the end of March into April so about a month ago and I still haven't even gotten back to where I was before I got sick much less made a dent in my goal. How frustrating! Right?  I stayed on the same routine; running and Pilates and when it was too hot I ran in the upstairs track at work (I'm very heat sensitive) I added upper body work with dumb bells. and still nothing, the scale just goes right to the same number every time I step on it.  I'm going to keep it real and be honest with you, It got me a little down and the heat and then the wind yesterday didn't help my motivation. I still did Pilates but no running. Friday is my weigh in day but I'm afraid to step on the scale so I'm avoiding by blogging.

We all hear it, "Muscle weighs more than fat". People keep telling me it's just muscle because I added the upper body work. It could be true. I am still able to wear the jeans I was unable to a couple of months ago and the pants I'm wearing right now are about to fall off of me, the same pants that were too tight in October so I keep telling myself it's still progress. But I need to lose an entire body in a little over three months! At this rate, I'm not feeling hopeful. I should be at least one size smaller by now but I unfortunately, carry my weight in my tummy and my face :-/ and they are the last places I lose weight so I have to lose a lot just to go down 1 size.

Kim Morrison, Lindsey Crow and Robbin Polter are my inspirations. Kim was the same size as me and now she is in an 8 and she did it all by running. Lindsey walked and ate it off as did Robbin. I feel there is hope and I know I'll get back to it. I think I just realized how soon my goal date is and it seems so impossible to get anywhere near it in three months. I appreciate your support and words of encouragement.

Til next time
keep it real